|
|
Thursday, February 1st, 2007
| |
9:29 pm
|
|
| Sunday, September 10th, 2006
| |
1:32 pm
|
ARRRGH! IT SHOULD OF BEEN ME ON THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY, WHY THE HELL DID I DESERVE THIS!
IF SHE WASNT SUCH A THOUGHTLESS BITCH THEN MAYBE WE COULD OF GOT ON, AND I CANT BELIEVE IM MOVING IN. BUT SHE AINT GETTIN NO SPEICAL FUCKING TREATMENT, NO-ONE COMES AFTER HER, EVERYONES BEFORE HER FROM NOW ON, ANY NEW MATES WILL GET PRIVILEGDGE OVER HER
I WONT FEEL GUILTY EVERYTIME I BAIL HER OUT FOR GOIN TO AL'S OR SPENDING TIME WITH SOMEONE. I AM NOT EVEN CONSIDERING HER A BEST FRIEND ANYMORE, SHES JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 28th, 2006
| |
2:40 pm - current stuff on the old mind..
|
serious lack of money.
my skin is fucking terrible at the moment its all irritated and im covered in blemishes.urg
i have managed to put on half a stone in a matter of weeks
I have no idea what to get Al for his birthday, and how much to spend.
But im full of thoughts today.
Looking forward to Uni so much, metting new people learning and really getting into the whole career path kind of thing which i have been trying to avoid for all these years. Thing is with me is, i can do well, i can do alot better but i just can't be arsed. Which is why some of my units could be 24 but i didn't put in as much effort as i could so i got a 22 or 23.
Uni i think will be the same.
i upset myself yesterday when i lookede thorough his fone. I felt daft because its not like i was pruposely looking for it just because i was paranoid. It was just that i came across it and it bothered me, i guess its a little mixture of self esteem and lack of trust due to my past experience in trusting people, or in this case trusting a very flirtacious male around a beautiful flirtacious lady.
aaarrrgh
gaygaygay
moody fucker i am. need to cut down on the srinking and wildness this week, gona get work all done this week so i can start on feckin revision. grr how do i revise a synoptic paper neway!
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, May 26th, 2006
| |
9:29 am
|
I don't know why i'm so hysterical over it...
last few weeks ive been having dreams where i wake up and think i am still with him, mayve i do still love him i am not sure. i'm just totally confised with the way i feel. Its fucking me up because i'm seeing what it would be like back with him, i have dreams where i'm confessing my love for him and im back in his arms, i can feel him holding me and i'm upset when i wake up... Ijust hate this its really causing me to think things that i'm trying my hardest to forget.
On the other hand i feel me and Al are getting on great, i can't believe how perfect our relationship is, but lats few days its just been causing me to pick fights because i feel guilty with the way i have been feeling.
I saw him on tuesday, with her and everytime that happens, no matter how brief i just feel sick, i try and turn the other way but i can feel her staring at me and i hate the fact she can be all smug. It makes me angry and i havn't been able to stop thnking about it for days... I need to stop txting him, theres no way i can get his number off my phone.. just want Donna and Al and Andy to delete his number, and delete his number of my recent recepients then i wouldn't have the urge as i don't even know it off by heart..
Its been what, 4 months? I have found it alot easier than what i expected but at times painful. Fact is, he was the best thing that ever happened to me for 2 years. Best thing and no-one will ever take away the memories. Why can't i just accept that they are gone and soon i will have that time with Al.
I just feel like crying
But when im with the important people everythings ok. After this exam i am going with the important people.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
| |
9:36 pm
|
2 lads in my year 11 were found dead this morning, they had a car crash down a nearby country lane and got pulled out of the ditcg, everyones just been on a real downer. It is such a shock because i knew them when i was about 13 and went to venice with them and everything. Strange how you hear about it the papers all the time and then when it hits close to home its so surreal.
life is short i'l tell you that.
I think i've just been emotional all day. I was weird with AL earlier. Just didn't feel like talking at all. ah well...
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
9:28 pm - Update.
|
Long time no update, decided to revamp this thing, can't be arsed to explain the situation thats unfolded over the past few months, other than now things have dramatically changed and for the first time in ages i am happy and so calm.
Me and Phil finnally split up on the 10th January, a few days before my art exam ( which caused me to fuck up and gain a C grade. bastard.)
Ever scince i have been with the most amazing person i never thought i would get the chance with.
I have a great bunch of mates, and my social life couldn't be better.
current mood:  cranky
current music: Eagles of Death Metal
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
| |
4:10 pm
|
|
''Your not 18, You shouldn't be going out'' what the fuck? thats the most ridiculous thing i've ever herd. Nerd. Arsehole.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, December 8th, 2005
| |
10:29 pm
|
Im going out. and its half 10!
things are good, real good i just had a whole day without feeling guilty, worried or basically like a sack of shit.
im also really horny right now..
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 28th, 2005
| |
7:00 pm - Journal
|
I'm in love. Not sure who with more. I have mates but not the ideal ones i would like. I like having a good time and i have the stress with that. I started my life again 4 years ago when i moved away from the past.
This is my life. If you really want to read about it.
Friends only.
You know the drill.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
stace_jane's journal